A courageous confession. Congratulations for this one, Natalie. I've tried a dates app when I was student but with all their fake profiles, I've realized that they are more for making money than meeting two singles. I've also read that love happened at 40, 50 for some people. Every lifestory is a singular story. The best will happen to you in time!
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like the accepted heterosexual “template” always follows this path of youthful fun to partner selection to settling down and then procreation.
Heck, isn’t that why dating apps exist? Find your mate now otherwise you’re doomed!!
There are so many wonderful aspects of the single life. Your thirties places you in the thick of the coupledom frenzy. It’s where most of the action takes place. Once you emerge into your forties and beyond, things settle down.
Natalie, I absolutely was enraptured by your writing in this one. You have yet again reminded me of all the things in life worth celebrating that aren’t attached to a registry; we must not forget to raise a toast to them, too.
This is so beautifully written Natalie. As a formerly single woman, I can deeply relate to every single word. I met my husband at 35…on Hinge, a week before the pandemic. There’s a tremendous amount of luck involved. But not just luck. I often think about how much I had to go through to be ready for that moment…becoming who I was, learning what I wanted and wouldn’t settle for, feeling content completely on my own. I am grateful equally for the single time as for finding the right one. But back to you… Congratulations on this amazing milestone! Have you registered?
Thank you so much Melissa!! I love hearing from women who met their husbands later in life! It brings me so much peace 🤍. Also...LOLing over the registry comment. I'll be looking into this.....
It’s like that episode of SATC where Carrie registers for a pair of Manolo’s to replace the ones that were stolen when she was required to take them off at a baby shower. Karma!
Omg yes!! I think about that episode all the time. I’ve threatened my family more than once that someday they’ll simply receive a registry link for the sacred celebration of “I deserve it.” :)
This is so beautifully written and resonated with me deeply as I was “The Single Friend” for roughly a decade. You so eloquently capture the experience of adult single life, especially when your entire personality isn’t seeking the remedy to the disease of singleness. I also found that amongst my friend group, it would also be expected that if I wasn’t partnered I should be living out their Sex and the City type fantasies and if I wasn’t, I was somehow disappointing in that way too. I will annoyingly say that I did meet someone when I least expected it, and a person that I least expected, and happily married at 39. But, I can also say that I never would have a relationship this beautiful, this healthy, and a life I love as much if I hadn’t cultivated a happy, healthy single life. I hope your life continues to feel rich and beautiful however you spend it ❤️
This comment made me smile so much. So relatable, especially the idea that if you’re single, people sometimes expect you to be living out a glamorous little Sex and the City subplot on their behalf. And I absolutely love hearing from women who met their husbands later in life. What you said about your beautiful, healthy relationship not being possible without first cultivating a happy, healthy single life is so real and so encouraging. Thank you for sharing this ❤️.
Oh my, I’m clapping out loud. That’s some damn good writing. I’m older, married, with “grown” children and so much of that shouldn’t resonate personally, but you drew me in and I loved taking a walk through your life and perspective. I don’t think you need to explain anything to anyone and you certainly don’t owe anyone an apology for the way you choose to live your life. However, I’m grateful you chose to share because I’m certain that’s the best thing I’ll read all day. And honestly, your life sounds beautiful, and pretty great. 👏🏼
Neyla, this means more than you know! Thank you for such a kind and generous response. It’s truly the highest compliment that the piece could resonate even outside the exact circumstances of my own life. And thank you for saying my life sounds beautiful. I’m so grateful for everything I’ve built for myself, and it’s very special to have someone else see it that way too. ❤️
Thank you for writing ❤️ As the single friend, I sent to my fellow single friends because we have talked about everything you covered so beautifully in this piece. It feels meaningful in a way I can’t explain to feel seen by your words!!
Kate, I’m so glad this resonated with you. And thank you for sending it to your fellow single friends! Truly, it means so much to know this made others feel seen. That was exactly what I hoped for when I put it out into the world ❤️.
Natalie! My favorite thing you’ve ever written. I especially appreciated your emphasis on space and peace. High standards forever!!! Anything less is unacceptable. also the gifs throughout are perfection.
So, so beautifully written and I loved every word of this. I think about this ALL THE TIME. As a person who is in a partnership but is experiencing the loss of friendships and connection with girlfriends who have chosen different and very specific paths for their journey, I often get frustrated with the assumptions of the same (lots of free time, more flexible schedule, etc.), like you said above. It's frustrating and isolating and something that I'm sure (or, hoping!) will ebb and flow with the passage of time. This is a fantastic reminder to make sure I'm celebrating all of my friends for any and every milestone in life, even the things that get us through the every day. Like Joan Didion said, every day is all there is. Really in awe of you, friend!!
This absolutely made my day. Thank you so much, Shannon ❤️ What you said about assumptions is so real. Even within partnership, there are so many different versions of adulthood, and I imagine being married without children can come with its own strange set of expectations and assumptions. I love what you said about celebrating the milestones that simply get us through the everyday, no matter your situation. Truly, every day is all there is!
The read I didn't know I needed this week!! I think this is the best thing I've read on Substack to date. As a fellow Single Friend, this resonated so much with me. 🤎 Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, I can tell so much care went into it. You're sentiments are so thoughtfully shared and with the perfect amount of humor!
Charlotte, this seriously makes me want to cry. Thank you so much for such an incredibly kind note. I’m so glad it resonated with you, and honestly, hearing from so many fellow "single friends" has been the most wonderful, affirming thing. So many of us are feeling these same, and it means everything to know the piece made you feel seen. 🤍🤍
A courageous confession. Congratulations for this one, Natalie. I've tried a dates app when I was student but with all their fake profiles, I've realized that they are more for making money than meeting two singles. I've also read that love happened at 40, 50 for some people. Every lifestory is a singular story. The best will happen to you in time!
Thank you for reading! I'm so glad you enjoyed. Your note regarding love happening at 40+ brings me joy. Yes! The best will happen in time.
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like the accepted heterosexual “template” always follows this path of youthful fun to partner selection to settling down and then procreation.
Heck, isn’t that why dating apps exist? Find your mate now otherwise you’re doomed!!
There are so many wonderful aspects of the single life. Your thirties places you in the thick of the coupledom frenzy. It’s where most of the action takes place. Once you emerge into your forties and beyond, things settle down.
Couldn't agree with this more!!! The whole "sequence" of things. Thank you so much for reading and for your note 🤍.
Natalie, I absolutely was enraptured by your writing in this one. You have yet again reminded me of all the things in life worth celebrating that aren’t attached to a registry; we must not forget to raise a toast to them, too.
I love this Marissa 🥹. Yes to celebrating more! I'm so glad you enjoyed the read.
This is so beautifully written Natalie. As a formerly single woman, I can deeply relate to every single word. I met my husband at 35…on Hinge, a week before the pandemic. There’s a tremendous amount of luck involved. But not just luck. I often think about how much I had to go through to be ready for that moment…becoming who I was, learning what I wanted and wouldn’t settle for, feeling content completely on my own. I am grateful equally for the single time as for finding the right one. But back to you… Congratulations on this amazing milestone! Have you registered?
Thank you so much Melissa!! I love hearing from women who met their husbands later in life! It brings me so much peace 🤍. Also...LOLing over the registry comment. I'll be looking into this.....
It’s like that episode of SATC where Carrie registers for a pair of Manolo’s to replace the ones that were stolen when she was required to take them off at a baby shower. Karma!
Omg yes!! I think about that episode all the time. I’ve threatened my family more than once that someday they’ll simply receive a registry link for the sacred celebration of “I deserve it.” :)
This is so beautifully written and resonated with me deeply as I was “The Single Friend” for roughly a decade. You so eloquently capture the experience of adult single life, especially when your entire personality isn’t seeking the remedy to the disease of singleness. I also found that amongst my friend group, it would also be expected that if I wasn’t partnered I should be living out their Sex and the City type fantasies and if I wasn’t, I was somehow disappointing in that way too. I will annoyingly say that I did meet someone when I least expected it, and a person that I least expected, and happily married at 39. But, I can also say that I never would have a relationship this beautiful, this healthy, and a life I love as much if I hadn’t cultivated a happy, healthy single life. I hope your life continues to feel rich and beautiful however you spend it ❤️
This comment made me smile so much. So relatable, especially the idea that if you’re single, people sometimes expect you to be living out a glamorous little Sex and the City subplot on their behalf. And I absolutely love hearing from women who met their husbands later in life. What you said about your beautiful, healthy relationship not being possible without first cultivating a happy, healthy single life is so real and so encouraging. Thank you for sharing this ❤️.
Oh my, I’m clapping out loud. That’s some damn good writing. I’m older, married, with “grown” children and so much of that shouldn’t resonate personally, but you drew me in and I loved taking a walk through your life and perspective. I don’t think you need to explain anything to anyone and you certainly don’t owe anyone an apology for the way you choose to live your life. However, I’m grateful you chose to share because I’m certain that’s the best thing I’ll read all day. And honestly, your life sounds beautiful, and pretty great. 👏🏼
Neyla, this means more than you know! Thank you for such a kind and generous response. It’s truly the highest compliment that the piece could resonate even outside the exact circumstances of my own life. And thank you for saying my life sounds beautiful. I’m so grateful for everything I’ve built for myself, and it’s very special to have someone else see it that way too. ❤️
Thank you for writing ❤️ As the single friend, I sent to my fellow single friends because we have talked about everything you covered so beautifully in this piece. It feels meaningful in a way I can’t explain to feel seen by your words!!
Kate, I’m so glad this resonated with you. And thank you for sending it to your fellow single friends! Truly, it means so much to know this made others feel seen. That was exactly what I hoped for when I put it out into the world ❤️.
Thank you for expressing everything I feel much more articulately than I ever could!
I'm so glad it resonated with you 🥹🤍. Thank you for reading!
Natalie! My favorite thing you’ve ever written. I especially appreciated your emphasis on space and peace. High standards forever!!! Anything less is unacceptable. also the gifs throughout are perfection.
Thank you my love!!! 🤍 I spent so much time searching for gifs lol.
So so good👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you! 🤍
So, so beautifully written and I loved every word of this. I think about this ALL THE TIME. As a person who is in a partnership but is experiencing the loss of friendships and connection with girlfriends who have chosen different and very specific paths for their journey, I often get frustrated with the assumptions of the same (lots of free time, more flexible schedule, etc.), like you said above. It's frustrating and isolating and something that I'm sure (or, hoping!) will ebb and flow with the passage of time. This is a fantastic reminder to make sure I'm celebrating all of my friends for any and every milestone in life, even the things that get us through the every day. Like Joan Didion said, every day is all there is. Really in awe of you, friend!!
This absolutely made my day. Thank you so much, Shannon ❤️ What you said about assumptions is so real. Even within partnership, there are so many different versions of adulthood, and I imagine being married without children can come with its own strange set of expectations and assumptions. I love what you said about celebrating the milestones that simply get us through the everyday, no matter your situation. Truly, every day is all there is!
wow, this was so beautifully written. I feel so seen by this. thank you.
Thank you so much Jessica! I'm so glad it resonated with you 🙏🏻.
I loved all of this and so happily saw myself and my life in it ♥️ Great choice of gifs too.
Thank you Claire!!! I'm so happy it resonated! 🤍
Yes and yes and yes. I could have written every word as I have lived this too.
Thank you Lacey!! I'm so glad it resonated 🙏🏻🤍.
The read I didn't know I needed this week!! I think this is the best thing I've read on Substack to date. As a fellow Single Friend, this resonated so much with me. 🤎 Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, I can tell so much care went into it. You're sentiments are so thoughtfully shared and with the perfect amount of humor!
Charlotte, this seriously makes me want to cry. Thank you so much for such an incredibly kind note. I’m so glad it resonated with you, and honestly, hearing from so many fellow "single friends" has been the most wonderful, affirming thing. So many of us are feeling these same, and it means everything to know the piece made you feel seen. 🤍🤍
Fantastically written, thank you for narrating the single friend™️ experience to a tee!
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the read. 🙏🏻